YOU FUCKER

i hate you.
i hate YOU.
I HATE you.
I HATE YOU.

 

I HATE YOU FROM EVERY TINY LIL STRAIN OF HAIR TO THE TIP OF YOUR TOES. YOU SUCK. FOR BEING MEAN, FOR BEING RUDE, FOR BEING SELFISH, FOR BEING A BASTARD.

 

YOU DO NOT DESERVE FRIENDS. YOU WERE A BIG BASTARD SINCE FOREVER. SO MUCH FOR STARTING ON A CLEAN SLATE.

I DONT SEE ANY REASON WHY YOU SHOULD EXIST. SERIOUSLY.

 

 

I HATE YOU.
I HATE YOU.
I HATE YOU.

 

 

FOR EVERY TIME YOU WERE EVER NICE, TO HELL. FUCK IT. FUCK YOU.

life goes on

i am just so damn bored right now that i’ll blog.

how fast time flies no?
it’s already february and it feels only ytd starting school with the new status of retainee. normal school lessons will begin tmr and im kinda psyched. i dont want to start another series of skipping lectures just for the sake of it. i shall do my part and encourage every J1 to go for EVERY lecture possible. and during the process, maybe i’ll find a few comrades who’ll join my class in time to come.

hmm… on random notes. SMU’s Band Concert was really worth the money albeit it being a little to mundane. still, the sounds were nice, brilliant at some points and indeed, worth it. Russell and John had a lot of comments though. haha, but nevertheless, a night well spent rather than staying at home.

as for now, i just pray that February will be nothing less than enriching and i know it’ll be rocky with the new classes and new friends that i have to make all over again. but im thankful. 🙂

the past month have reminded me painfully about lessons ive learnt but have forgot. the month also bought about an end to what felt like a dream and the beginning of what i think is just a cross between friends and ______. anyways, i’ve neglected far too many important things that its time to get everything right again. in these particular order of priority(just to remind myself):

1. GOD
2. family
3. band
4. studies
5. friends

never have i put friends as last but i guess its time i do it. ive neglected the rest for far too long that if i dont fix it, life would be less meaningful in so many ways.

alright, enough of reflections and mindless rantings. if you’ve read thus far, kudos to you. 🙂 i’ll stop here as GG awaits me.

here’s to the week ahead!
xoxo.

that’s what you get when you let your heart win

i am your bestfriend first, then a ______.

somebody help me decipher these thoughts.

somekind of short thriller.

i seriously think you dont deserve anymore right to know about my life.

ok, begin here.
band today was yayy! nicenice. 🙂 exchange was eye opener of all sorts. our band is far… very far. wait. VERY VERY VERY FAR from what we should be but i am just glad we didnt break down and everything turn out fine and my solo(hehehehe!) was commendable. at least i was loud. xD

went for random dinner escapade to Bugis and then went down to meet Izzati. talked to kent and some other ppl and here i am.

now for things i should address or at least i want to pen down so that i can sort it out.

about.. er.. ok lets stop being vague shall we. about sean. im over him and that im happy that he has found someone. but what i feel/think personally about their whole relationship shall only be known to me and my closest friends. so beyond that, pls do not assume any furthur. kthnx. yesyes, im upset and angry but things have to move on. i cannot stay forever this way and that whatever we shared was beautiful and really pleasant but yeahh. and to answer how do i know question. i found out everything by myself technically. not tht i was snooping on him but it was pure coincidence. see, god is fair. but not the point. and then well, other things sort of fall into place and then some people help me out and there. the truth. ever so blatant, glaring back at you.

ive to be strong in more ways and yeah, it hurts but im moving on. i did. and im done.

thank you bryan for everything. seriously. (:

(wahh, maybe i should let you read this myself!!)

sometimes i jsut really feel lost and confuse k. i am a strong girl, really i am. i seldom cry and when ppl take advantage of me, i’ll usually just take it in. yeah, strong in a sense that i really am accepting of people but then again.. i dont know. maybe its jut this period of emptiness where nothing make sense. like being ever so close, but then at the next, nothing  seem to even happen. the thing is, its history all over again.

sigh, i guess life is about missed opportunities and repeating failures.

its late, i cant sleep.

so many thoughts running through my mind.

Everything i can`t be
Is everything you should be
And that`s why i need you here
Everything i can`t be
Is everything you should be
And that`s why i need you here

really nice song by One Republic, Come Home. take a listen.

gah, im just rambling.

anyway, about band. im staying. for better, for worse, forever.

yeah, you get the drift.

i’ll try to go sleep now.
gd night.