overwhelmed

i’ve been studying the whole week away.

loads have things have been happening and i cannot sum it up in words. i mean A LOT. like so much. from studying to all the things in between. the title says it all.

one last day to MUG for CTs. ): i am so upset cos i’ll do pretty badly for this exam but gah. it’s over. it’s time we take it by the horn and just do it.

on a happier, less depressing note, K called ytd(like finally!). and i was relieved. 🙂

thank you S for having me to study with. i hope its productive. =/

the laptop hang on me a couple of times ytd so im really quite thrilled that nothing serious is happening to it. 🙂

double yay! (smiles)

alright, just ended work, really funny and nice today. im beginning to be less blur. yay!

triple yay!

and on a really really really sad and depressing note, my condolences to Michael Jackson. the news of his death was a shock. but may he rest in peace.

alright, this is a long and mindless entry as usual.

goodnight world,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KENT LIM!

😀

sometimes…

no, this is not a post about britney spear’s song.

sometimes, i feel really angry seeing how i cannot salvage anything out of something. sometimes i feel upset that things dont go my way. sometimes i ask questions that i just dont get answers too. sometimes i just want to pick up the phone and call someone. sometimes it’s really hard to take it all in.

sometimes, i think too much.

studying for CTs is really overwhelming. =/

i need to constantly distract myself to feel alive, i swear. everytime i let my mind wonder, it falls back into that deep, dark end where nothing gets answered and all i get is disappointment.

i miss so many ppl, you cant even imagine. ha ha.

i miss band. ): omg, i miss band so much. ):

but then again, this is stupid and mindless entry. thank you all for wasting 3 mins of your life on me. sigh.

studyyyyyyyy!!!!

looking back

i cant sleep so i want to rant rant rant. it’s pretty much emo stuff anyway, so skip it.

met renee and sis today and we headed down to the river again! ❤ i love the river spot for studying. albeit it being very far from my house, i think its worth it to just sit and study for long hours admiring the surroundings, absorbing the array of ppl walking past. it gives me a constant reminder of what i’m doing all this stupid shitz for. (: right.

after we got tired of studying we walked to MS for late lunch. worth it and nice, i felt satisfied and then headed down to work.

by far, the WORST day of work. ): teared twice and i dont even know why. i think i was tired or rather i was sick of being so blur and stupid and not remembering things. very retarded. i hate ppl who are not patient. i badly want to quit work but then again… i think of the ppl who have really been there to help me through and even ppl who make days way better. sigh. and not to mention, i feel a lot more secure with all that money. haha. but srsly, you know its like the law of diminishing utility. the satisfaction that i derive decrease with increase consumption of each additional unit(cheyyy!!). haha. k, i dont even know whether that’s correct. haha.

speaking of which, studying is being – . i dont know whether i can make it for CTs. ): i am worried but yet i know im the only one to blame so i dont like bleing two faced so i shall admit my mistake of procastinatin too much. sigh.

my life is riddled with many wasted opportunities.

on a different note,
ytd was just VERY disappointing. ): really. i have no words but when i msged you, i expected something more. but yet… i feel so upset everytime i think about it. i know i have to be patient and understand your position but i have feelings too. and when you dont care about mine, thats when i feel really unappreciated and useless. ):

i have so many other things in my mind too. like how i miss izzati very very very much. and how im very very very very very disappointed at her behaviour but then again… sigh.

i feel very tired of being sad and caring for others. i miss talking to someone who really knows me well so that i wont be judged.

but still, i know that all this is really just a test from god. (: i know that for as long as he still challenge me, that’s when he really cares for me. i do understand that i’ve been blessed for far too long too. and that  maybe its just really time to set my priorites right.

this is a very long post but i dont care.

i shall go watch random youtube vids or a movie or just play random songs or just do nothing.

goodnight world.

castaway

i dont know what to feel sometimes.

i cant wait for tmr, cant wait for thursday, cant wait for friday. im glad that its filled with friends, friends and more friends.

i love my friends more than anything else. ❤

oh, atiq, somehow meeting you today make me want to meet imah and you together and go out like we used to. ):

so many things are making me feel sad now, i cant even explain. i just want to really thank ppl who still care to make me laugh and smile or unintentionally do so. it feels really good to forget aobut your sorrows even momentarily.

sigh, sometimes, i think too much. i shall go and sleep now and hope that tmr is one heck of a productive day and then work after that. i like to keep myself busy when im feeling like crap.

toodles.

laughed.

i was reading through my bs. omg, very funny you know. all the boyfriend rants, friendship dramas, class bonding, lots of Swiss Winds up and down moments… haha.

i miss secondary school a lot.

maybe it’s just me

so many nice/interesting concerts this weekend but i’ve to force myself to sit down and study for CTs. screw it. ): really. i havent achieved so manythings i wanted to do this hols. cycling, go for at least one concert, meet up with atiq and imah, meet up with K, outing with Evan, go out with with izzati and if i list out everything i’ll just feel more depressed.

ok, im going off to study with renee now.

six more days left to study. i dont know whether to marvel or sigh at my progress with studying.

it never rings…

11.11 reminds me of K.

______________________
i am just wondering what’s all this silence about. ): it’s been 4 days. sometimes i am almost ashame to admit that im waiting for you. but sometimes, maybe what S said is true.

it just feels really weird without having someone to talk to.

i love The Fray & Anberlin. really nice and meaningful lyrics. i am going to TRY and go to sleep now.

here, there and everywhere.

hey yo what’s the flow!

alright, i’ve been fatefully studying the entire day and im just giving myself this break to just chillax cos honestly, studying is taking a toll. rawr.

anyway, i’d like to say that i enjoyed friday on the flyer very much with Cheltton. saturday with S was love and the ECP outing with godma was really enojyable. Sunday was plain work but all pays off when you have really funny ppl around and that you learn something new everytime.

i am falling sick and i’m having a very hard time falling asleep these days. its like i take and hour rolling on the bed before i finally get some shut eye. sigh. and i think its taking a toll on my health. numbing headaches and weird painful pangs on the stomach, sigh. i just hope it’s not swine. haha, k i shall not scare myself.

alright, on a slightly more different note, i can’t wait for school to re-open or more like CTs to be over. i need to get myself distracted so that i wont think so much. i’ve been doing that for far too many times this past few days. it only makes me sad.

btw, jannah. i saw the demi lovato’s song/video. omg, she doesnt look like she in camp rock! HAHA.

alright, i miss Geylang and i truly hope that we can meet before sch reopens. i miss all of them so much.

it’s pretty long update and tmr i’m gonna spent time by the river again(haha!) to finish up my history revision. sigh.

i’ll continue with studying now. goodnight world.

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
`Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that’s enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you’ll never find it all
Let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home

by the river.

i had such a laid-back, productive and awesome time today. i want to this everyday. haha.

but i’ll keep the details until i get the photos. plus the Genting trip too. hehe.

thank you so much for today! (:

 

 

 

if you forget me, i’ll forget you too. ):

when days dont get any younger

respect the dead

smile when it's over

think harder so that you wont be "m t". (it'll help if you say it out loud)

don't ever look back

appreciate those who STILL care not those who used to

drink your favourite drink

watch planes fly by

smile for the camera! 🙂

or... JUST SMILE. 😀