nothing feels right when i’m not with you

today was awesome!!! sososo awesome! (:

school was goood. i’ve realised i sit with Jannah and Jeremy alot today. haha. the two J’s that make classes way beter. 🙂

i miss a lot of my friends and today i spent quality time with them and im really happy. i feel satisfied.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALAN YIP JEK LUM!!!
i hope you’ve enjoyed today and being 18 and all that. miss you lots!!!

tmr is a day forced to be spent with the family. saturday band awaits and then Geylang outing. sunday is yet to be confirmed…

ok, i need to start studying.
bye.

and everything else that ever mattered.

SYF is coming in a week! time flies faster than i always think. 8 more days to the performance of a lifetime. let’s go SAINTS!

anyway, school have been a bitch. i hate the idea of owing hmwk and not getting my revision done but yet, i seem to procrastinate more than ever before. wait, last yr was worst. oh well.

on a slightly sombre note. i’m missing my friends. the girlfriends especially. sighh.

and on another totally different note, if this is suppose what it is suppose to be then why does it feel so wrong? i….. sigh. if only things were simpler and less complicated.

individuals tmr then maybe soccer match. i’m dead beat and friday better be well-deserving of a good day to kick the heals of.

alright world, off to sleep. good night.

a long and deserving wait.

i am really tired.

1. got kicked out of class today. ))):
2. owe cikgu like 2 more hmwk.
3. need to start studying for econs.
4. history is a pain. so many readings to do.

SAJC OWNED ACJC TODAY!!
am very very veryyy proud of the rugby boys. their morale was so low before the match and that they have emerged against all odds as winners, is wow. catching the match was surely the highlight of this week!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMY TAN!
i saw you laughing at me while ms wong was scolding me! humphhh. haha! but nevertheless, sweet sweet present no? winning the match and all that. enjoy 17!

i’ll upload photos over the past weeks this weekend.

as of now, K, i hope everything’s fine.

aight, i need to do my hmwk. catch yall later! (:

Let’s rearrange. I wish you were a stranger I could disengage. Say that we agree and then never change, soften a bit until we all just get along. But that’s disregard. Find another friend and you discard.

falling from grace

band is getting ermzzz…. i dont know. 

the week have been really hectic and even tmr, im doing school related sutff so yes, i cant wait for all this to end. today during band, somehow i dread looking forward to SYF cos it’s 12 days to spending time with my section. 12 days to seeing all the ppl in band. 12 days to the end of a musical career. sighhh.

other than that, life is getting all too mundane again. i need to get a life. as cliche as it may sounds.

alright, i think this is a meaningless and purposeless entry, i’ll update about more interesting stuff later tonight.

ciao.

over my head.

all the madness and anger in school today was let out on a 17 Again. YAY! i’m really sorry for being really short tempered this days and the expletives, ohmygoshh, they’ve got to stop spweing out.

17 Again was really enjoyable. thanks Firqin for time spent! 🙂

The Fray’s over my head keeps playing in my iPod. it’s those kind of song where it just makes sense and helps you explain the whole situation.

anyways, life is going downhill. go figure. but i’ll be ok.

some words just hurt more than others.

i became a vulgar girl back today. )):

i scolded Resh and Alex cos i was just too errr… pissed off? so sorry! but omg, when i start cursing it really just means you’ve crossed that line. sorrryyyy. im really trying to kick this vulgar habit.

anyways, a few things that happened today really soured my mood but whatever! yes, we need to start chanelling only the positive.

my friends! it’s halfway through the week! let’s press on for the next few days. (:

2 MORE WEEKS SAJCCB! 😀

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of equal tranquility

tuesdays, im in love! (:

1. spent lots of time studying today.
2. ICC ICC ICC ICC ICC. 😀
3. ditch BNJFC!!
4. random Siglap study date.
5. H2H with J.
6. good sleep
7. completing history essay!!!
8. SCREW SL
9. MY THREADLESS T’S CAME TODAY!!!!!!! 🙂

many other reasons to smile(or maybe not).

im tired but they say one day at a time. but today i decided, maybe we should just forget it all together.

off to settle SL. goodnight world.

fandango.

i’m so happy i’ve completed my econs essay. (:

anyway, today was a terrible case of monday blues. long day today followed by band. in between everything, i felt so blank but i’m ok. thanks J for your notes to everything and everytime you’ve been there for/with me. much love love. (:

band today was annoyingly boring but encouragingly better. (: i’ve so much faith in our band now that nothing can possibly maybe stop me from feeling so much pride for this band. we’ve come a long a way. stayed back to play some random tunes on my eupho and i felt way happier. hehe.

lastly, im feeling so lost now cos my phone line just got cut. thus explaining the not replying of msges and all that. yessss, im a loser cos i got no money to pay for my bills. K!!! if you read this you know why. tsktsk. haha. and besides, you didnt call. sobsobsss. HAHA. i’ve got so many things to say.

alright of to sleep now. the no. of visitors jumped again ytd. sometimes it makes me paranoid but then again, its a blog. it’s bound to be read someday.

so that’s all for now then folks! have an awesome week ahead!

xoxo.

and so we part, 186.

perhaps losing the solo wasnt a big deal.

all my life, i wanted that big bang in my band life. that moment of significance where i could be the one supporting the band. but the moment i had it, i lost it.

i could blame it on everything but myself. but i know thats not it. i would/should blame it on complacency? i dont know. ive tried my hardest. the only reason i stayed while i was in such a dilemma at the beginning of this year. the reason i sacrficied all the time in the world to practice, the very reason, i was willing to sit through the slow movement. but now, that purpose is lost.

i cannot deny that he plays way better than i do. but the fact that i cant even explain. to begin with, im not angry at the fact that mr g was so WOW-ed by your playing. or the fact that the alumni and even meroy was so pleased. (i could see their faces brimming with happiness.) but its the fact that you were never there to help and encourage us to be better players. you only cared about yourself. but thats not point of these entry.i cannot be bothered nor afford to have such feelings when we’re so close to SYF.

im reduced to playing 2 bars ONLY out of the entire slow movement. suddenly everyone thinks im such a lousy player. i feel that way too. cos i can feel it. i no longer find the purpose but i have to hang in there. i cannot lose it at this final lap. i can see it in the way he talks to me, i can see it in the alumni(whatever his name is- screw SAS boys and their phobia of talking to girls).

i cried so badly on friday after being chided. i was sobbing like a lil kid with Adilah outside the hall. but in that moment of solitude, i fond courage. no use in brooding over it cos at some point, i know its for the better good of the band.

i’ve lost so much motivation to play but i know i have to force it out. i cant believe i failed in this final lap, but im thankful to blessed with such an amazing journey in SAJCCB. for if i had not join the band, i wouldnt know how far music making can go, how much is there to improve and the importance of working and having each others back no matter how proficient we are.

this final 2 weeks, the final race to the finishing line. nothing matters more than to be focused and to put everything aside. i need to make all this worth it in the end.

thank you A for taking time to just sit there and listen to me cry my heartout. for always always being there for me. thank you K for waiting up on friday but i was so busy i couldnt get to talk to you. i hope you havent lost your faith in me regardless of how the rest of the fucking world think i am. 

to the best solo i was given the chance to play, to losing it. 186, i’ll forever remember all the hardwork and sweat we’ve been through.

 

we’ll  go for our GOAL with our hearts full with pride.