misery loves company

i just read JT’s blog and finished GG episode 6(yes, i know i’m a lil slow). it hits me that there are so many things i haven’t do and one of the most important is that i haven’t been completely honest with myself  lately. i haven’t had the time to sort and think of my priorities.  i’m just too caught up in chasing elusive dreams or those that are just motivated by those arond me and not by my own. i feel truly lost.

or maybe i’m just having that time of the month.

a heavy heart

work attachment at Toll Logistics since monday have been nothing but not productive. get it? haha. but interesting neverthless to have to experience working life and having to sit at the desk for close to 10 hours.

Marcus: “i’m getting paid to SIT ON MY DESK.” lol.

2 weeks and 2 days more to go. 

in other news,  my heart feels really heavy and i dont even know why. i miss Adilah terribly and it feels really weird having to go so long without having to share so much with you. i’m glad though that work has taken a lot of these thoughts away and i can only hope things get better.

i can’t wait for holidays to officially start.

xoxo.

the beautiful game.

woot! there’s something about boys running after a ball.

okok, gogogo Liverpool! soccer is perhaps the only sport i follow. really nice to see them play.

alright, match is starting! (:

ps: i have so much things to say. ): but no room for me to voice it out. i hope work will take everything away from me. all i want is to start all over again.

4 minutes to save the world

i just did something really horrible but i can’t say what. hehe.

quick update. so happy/glad to have been selected for work attachment! (: away from the shit school. yay! sister’s keeper today was like some sobfest but it was good still, one of those movies i don’t mind watching again and again. currently, i have 2 compre and 2 essays due by tmr morning. yay. NUT.

at this rate, i’ll never get to talk to K!! HAHAHA. the internet is very distractive! haha.

ok, i really have to run along. byexzx

I WANT MY OWN LAPTOP. ):

i seriously hate my dad. ): i feel like killing myself just so i can escape from his stupid actions and mindless accusations. i feel so sick and tired of everything.

btw, i am very pleased with my results although i knew i could have done way better. it is a good reminder that consistant work does pay off. sure,i have regretted some things and that the final year results itself was way below expectations but it is a good wake up call. one more year and i’ll be done with A Level’s, SAJC and every shit thing that have happened during these 2 – or shall i say 3 years that have passed.

you smell like christmas

ihad such a tiring day ytd, followed by a lovely night out and to top it all off,  get to talk to K and it felt like old times.

if only i had just slept straight away after that, i wouldnt feel this way today. i hate my dad to depths of hell and its just that i feel no shame anymore in proclaiming to the world that i have a screwed up dad. i dont love him that im sure, i dont respect him that im still considering. above all, i wish i dont have to feel all this. its coming back to that stage where i give up on this whole god damn perfect family picture. i hate you and that’s all i really know.

period.

TOMORROW.IS.IT

i am feeling so jittery about tmr that i don’t think i’ll be able to sleep tonight. to me, tomorrow will definitely make or change my life for the better or for worse. i have to stop worrying.

on a side note, (500) Days of Summer was really good and meet up with last yr clique was filled with warmth and familiarity as usual. days are getting better. (:

the one thing i want right now is for you to just be here with me.

hello friend.

in case you happen to be reading this, in case you forgot how much fun we used to have, in case you need to remember what the old times were like, in case you still need a shoulder to cry on, in case you still need someone. in case you forget how happy you looked then.

i miss you and i’ll always be here for you no matter how many times i say i give up, no matter how many times i think it’s not worth it, no matter who the love of your life is, no matter how hard it is to accept. i’ll be here.

but of course, all this only matters,  only and only if i still have the same old spot in your heart.

here comes your man.

today i woke up late, made friends with the uncle at the Video Ezy store, rent three movies, one sucked, the other two yet to be seen and then i whipped out a meal which consists of spaghetti, mushroom soup and fries. I loved today cos as much as i wanted to be out there with my friends, i felt happy at the same time to be home all by myself and thinking bout so many things and then at the end of it all, still feel happy about everything. (: ytd was hard, but tmr will be better.

hello wanks, pls lend me your hard disk with all the GG episodes, cos i feel an urgent need to re-watch the previous seasons cos i clean forget what G did to S & B.

alrightey, gonna have an early night.
xoxo.

i’m sorry…

if i keep pulling your strings again and again and then just snip them as and when i like.

karma will get back to me.