these calls for some appreciation

school today was bearable indeed. god somehow answered my prayers. (:

1st day of SYF, results look pretty reasonable. i cant wait for Swiss and the the rest.

sigh, suddenly everything that i wanted to say is lost. im feeling really really tired that i just want to drop dead but i cant just yet. need to iron clothes, pack bag etc. omgggg. i want my maid back. ))))):

today is weird too. going to school at unearthly hours of the morning is like attack of the people who stay in the north but schools in the east. seriously. weirdly, i went home seeing the same people. weird much.

ok, im so tired now, i’ve got so many things i’m upset about but i just cant give a fuck cos no one is really actually here to listen to my rants. fuck it. i cant be bothered.

good night world, i hope you had a better day than mine.

I SHOULD HAVE…

as the night prolongs

whopeedoooo.

i woke up close to 12 in the afternoon thanks to the late night after finishing GG. didnt help much since ive got a thumping headache since then and i;ve just basically lazed around the house. was supposedly suppose to go parkway to meet K. but im sick of that place. haha. though i still agree that the east holds far more trasueres than the west.

as of now, i’m currently trying to research on my cursed malay lit. sighhh. boring seriously and especially when i keep getting distracted by blogs and facebook.

what a short weekend indeed! school begins tmr and i hope your Earth Hour was spent meaningfully. mine did. alright. i’ll update later if i have more to ramble on. other than that, ciao.

 

 

take a single step forward.
one more.

yes that’s it.

and the world moves ever so silently.

it’s 3 am and im not asleep yet. it’s been a long time since i did this and wow. it feels weird. loads really have been going on in my life and far too many times i feel too lazy to decipher and think about my thoughts.

now, currently… there’s so much to say.

school have been great really. awesome. i love my new class and possibly everyone in it. thank you god for blessing me with a class i’ll feel motivated to work hard with, unlike last year. band is getting better and that i cannot be thankful enough for this last chance to prove our worth on stage. the friends and all that i’ve made. i sincerely wanna thank so many people.

it’s been a long since i felt happy. like really happy where everywhere and everything seems so effortless. yes, there are hurdles but it doesnt take much to cross it. the past few months, i’ve been happy-er(happier). 🙂 it’s been long since i see a smile in my eyes, no i didnt type wrongly. for far too long i could see that life was far too mundane and repetitive but now im finally seeing it. and again, i’m thankful for whatever this feelings are caused by.

one thing i’ve learnt is that we always have to be contented and to seek joy in the lil things that are blessings from god. and that i constantly remind myself. dont compare yourselves with others cos i believe god has it all plan out.

in a whole new different note, you make so many things bearable to live by each day. i do not know whether it’s familiarity or that special feeling. but i know that i care. i care  a lot about how you live by each day. i care about how you feel. i care about what makes you sad. i care about so many things about you. but this, i cant say. it’s so strange really. this feeling. so wrong but yet so right. how can i possibly? i hate it when i feel this way. but what am i to do. the answer is obvious isnt it? there’s nothing i can do. cos it’s just not possible both ways and i bet you knew. sighhhh. my heart aches everytime i think about this issue. but yet my heart accelerates when i know i can see you. why all this sudden urge? do you know we’ve been meeting for every single week? odd isnt it? its not suppose to happen but somehow, through the grace of god, we do. it’s odd isnt it that something that started out so childishly have become something serious. but i know that at the end of the day, i want to keep it this way. i want to take that step further but i’ll far too foolish to ruin this relationship that we have. all i ask for is that you be more sensitive and realise that i’m with you. i know it’s a risk. but it’s a risk i’m willing to take. i know that all this could change in just a day if you ever find someone that you think is right. but for now… i’ll keep all this silent. where it shall never be uncovered by no one. not you, not them.

i’m with you.

they’ll sing a happy working song.

HOLAAAA!

ok, i hate blogging in LJ for some peculiar reason i myself dont know why.

so anywaysssssss.
BAND. how was band today? awesomezz foursomezz. 🙂 i’m glad as a section we completed a lot and you guys understood what i wanted. i could hear all the differences. maintain this guys!!!! plspls. 5 ppl in a section is very VERY difficult to maintain sound and keep clean so yeahhhh. but nevertheless, im pleased. (:

so the trip to SPS was errrr…. enriching? i guess so. new things learnt. now its apply apply apply. be better then them, HA HA HA.  ok, but they were gd like really good so yeahhh. after hearing them out, slack around st pats to wait for John. then of we went all over singapore. k basically im just lazy to type out details.

thanks for the company K! sorry to made you tahan a lil bit longer. 😉

besides all that, hmm.. something S asked me really made me think. ah, whatever for now.

okok, off to watch GG. it hanged on me the other time!! wth.

kbye.

just burn for me; burn like a candle in the dark.

school have been good lately. satisfied much. MSA results are satisfying but yes i can do better. infact i should be doing better. but nevertheless, thankful for whatever god has bestowed upon me.

ah, let me begin by saying that getting spotted sucks. met K and E ytd and was seen. just please shut your traps okayyyy. thanks. met E today accompany him watch some rugby and then back to band. going over to SPS tmr to hear them out. egggggciting much. i really wanna hear them live(and loaded). haha. k lame i know.

band BBQ tmr too(i think). i cant wait. (:

why is that you’re always having this mood changing things? its one thing to be sad but another to be pretending that you’re when you aren’t. i want to help you, i may not know how but i want to. sometimes i wonder where all this things would go. i’ve lost all hope in it, no wait. i’ve never put hopes on it cos i’ve learnt my lesson to well. but what is this?  i’ve no clue either.

sighh, life sucks when you actually think about it again. anyway, bandbandband. i love band so much for some reason i dont know. perhaps having a listen to out atrocious playing during concert woke me up so much. i cannot bear to let it happen during SYF. i can and i will do it. WE MUST DO IT.

ok, shit. enough of this propaganda to myself. tmr is Earth Day loves! switch of all lights at 8, buy candles and have some cozy affair wherever you are. teehee. ok, i’m off to watch GG ep18 like FINALLYYYYYY. oh blair, i need to brush up on my tactics. haha.

 

before i end,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ADIDI!!!!!!!!
(love you thru rain and shine, thunder and storm. xoxo.)

and well the rest. is unwritten.
ciao.

lesson learnt?

school begins tmr!! holidays have been short short short. ): i need to complete that last few lessons for my lit homework and then im done. i really have no mood to go to school. six hours of non-stop lessons tmr. hello parent letter, i need you.

on a totally different note. happy happy day for me. (: but i need to know my limits. but nonetheless, happy to hear about your escapades, wish upon a thousand stars i can make it tmr, but nope. cant. gah. ok whatever. need to catch up with Gossip Girl!

sighsigh. dont want to go to school tmr. should green slip i swear. hehe. ok but not the point.

i guess i’ll complete those few lines and then i’m packin those bags. after that, off to sleep.

kent, you were not suppose to fall asleep. walao ehhhhhh.

haha, ok. oofsydoosy.
see you when i do. (;

the surprises in life

i woke up today to a call i’ve been waiting for days.

the countdown ending, a few hours more.
someone help me decipher these feelings. what is it? i care about you but i dont need you to be around all the time. i look forward to hear your voice, but i dont need it every single second. i want to see you so bad, but if i dont, it doesnt matter.

its strange. to know that its wrong but yet at the same time, it seems to feel so right.

 

what is this?