We’ll be livin’ so large

Fast forward to today since those emo-posts and all that jazz, I’m feeling way better and everything feels so complete. Its like I just needed to take a step back to realise that the bigger picture was already painted for me. Thank god for pulling me through. (:

Love, Hayati.

firecrackers on my headboard

Today was a difficult day. I tried my best, my hardest to push everything to a side just so I could focus on school. I never knew it was going to this hard but I’m pulling through. All this emotions and feelings are still mixed up, still raw and having to read certain words didn’t make it better. Sigh, I must force myself to be strong. I miss talking to my girlfriends for long periods of time. No wait, i dont even have any except S of course.

I’ve got so much in my mind right now, all i want to do is to channel all this thoughts into something larger than life.

Goodnight.

P.S: I never did say that I moved on. I said I will try and that does not mean that it’s been easy for me.

anyone can be passionate but it takes real lovers to be silly.

-emma

i agree,  i really really agree.

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you got me trippin’, stumblin’

the weekends are here!!!!!!!!! (:

so that means MSAs are over too. Do not ask me how MSAs went cos it was obviously shitty as hell and hence, I’ve made a pact with myself to really get the engines started like NOW!

so I started my morning with reading Times and making a dilignt effort in putting words in my GP Vocab Bank Book.(Haha, yes I have one) Then I’m here, just a lil side tracking before i start doing Econs again. I swear Macroecons is like wts. So complicated.

Anyways, caught The Tooth Fairy with Zameer ytd after my appointment ytd. Worth the watch after an exhausting week! So yeah. Met my sister after that, K called and I sleep feeling like a happy child. Hehe.

Alright mates, off to do some work.
Bye!

Sun rays come down as seen
when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around
till they fall down down down.

I wait for you: it’s been two hours now,
You’re still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.

I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate
waiting around ’round ’round,

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin’ just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.

…

…

I watch someone I knew for very long today.

On another note, I don’t like what I’m becoming. Sigh.

I miss my friends but I know that studying should be my priority now.

I can’t wait for next week. (:

P.S: I’ve made a decision to no longer give you any hope nor purpose in pursuing what you want. I cannot live in denial anymore.

oh happy day!

i decided not to go to school today, and so ive heard, it’s been the best decision to make today.

Yesterday, after school, headed down to meet Zameer for (free) Starbucks and to study. Damn hilarious ttm. While i was doing maths, told Zameer to help me with my MLL homework. the retarded worksheet where you have to translate english words to malay words that cikgu always ask to do. It took 5 other ppl to complete the work armed with iPhones and everything else. Tyvm for Ahmed’s perseverence. Haha! Slack and chill, studied of course and headed home at night.

Then at night, i was disappointed by you-know-who and his usual antics and i was just wtf. Whatever. Talked to Zameer on the phone and decided to sleep after reading a lil bit of MLL.

Well, yeah that was the story of my life yesterday. No particular reason for detailed entries, havent done them in a while anyway.

Alright, of for maths, and cheers to the coming friday!

xoxo.

mornings like these…

I am happy. Very happy. And I don’t even know why. But I am. MSAs almost over, SATs postponed, everything else in place. Well not really, but one must learn to be grateful. So I am. I am happy.

This random post from the school’s caf nonetheless. Ppl are very funny when they are.

Okbye.

you remind me of him.

Before I die of containing this emotions.

I met Yong Bin just now and it feels so comforting to see a familiar face like that after school. But more importantly I saw Jun Yang today. And this is really disturbing. ): every bit of him reminded me of HY. And I would not lie. He looked at me as if we could talk about lots of things; the past, the present etc. Now, I fucking regret not having the balls to stay and talk to him. ): omg. I know this sounds so childish and random, but argh. Its my blog, I say as I feel. Now the only thing in my mind is the past. The very pretty/ugly past that I want to remember but at the same time forget. Sigh. Why is it so hard to move on? It’s been 3 years. 3 fucking years. I want to know what happen, how’re you, what are you doing and so many other things. Sigh, I’m just upset. )):

I ended school with high hopes and motivations to study but all I can think of now is you.

you meant the world to me while it lasted. and i miss you in so many ways. ou defined what love meant to me, what sacrifice is for me, what forgiveness is, what patience is. and now i start to miss you so bad that it this heart starts to ache. 3 years and sometimes, it feels so surreal that such a long time have passed.

what is love to me?
Love is when all you want to do is be there for that person, you want to lie on his shoulders and then realise that your head fit so perfectly on his shoulders, you lie on his lap and then he strokes you on the head and say that you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid his eyes on, is when you talk about the future like that are plenty of tomorrows, that “forever” actually feels like forever and you actully believe that forever would happen. Love is when all you want to do when you wake up is to see his face, is when you kiss you don’t want it to end, when they touch you, it sets your mind and body ablaze. It’s about the sacrifices, big sacrifices, its about the pain, a pain like non-other but you still fight, fight so hard till you get what you want. It simple things that they do which are so adorable that you want them to do again and again and you want that moment to only happen between both you. you share special/secret moments where you do stupid things, where you create stupid songs and mindless ahndshakes, things you can only do with someone you’re comfortable with. Most of all love, makes you want to give more than you can, sacrifice more then you ever will and it makes your heart beat so fast and at the same time ache so bad just cos you know this person, this person you love, is not yours anymore.

That was you.

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